Services that Drive Results

Welcome to Terrible Marketing

Where strategy gets savage and results get real.

We’re not your average agency — we’re your unfair advantage.

We blend Real Intelligence (yes, humans who actually sell) with Artificial Intelligence (no, not another AI tweet bot) to engineer frictionless marketing chaos that scales hard and converts harder.

Our systems aren’t “seamless.”
They’re surgical.
Our process doesn’t “guide you.
It drags your brand past the competition by the collar.

You want exponential results?
You’ll need a team that isn’t afraid to rip your funnel apart and rebuild it like it was born to dominate.

Let’s be clear — we don’t just save you money.
We make you dangerous.

Terrible Marketing team posing in modern office with banner reading The Average The Experts and dartboard bullseye design

We Don’t “Manage Engagement... We Command Attention!

Your audience is scattered across platforms.
We track them down and make them care.

Instagram, Facebook, Google My Business —
wherever they scroll, we show up loud, sharp, and impossible to ignore.

We don’t just expand your reach —
we break the algorithm’s kneecaps and drag your brand into the spotlight.

You want presence?
We bring pressure.
Because in this game, visibility isn’t given — it’s taken.

24/7 Engagement via AI Text and Email Integration

Forget waiting around for leads to remember you.
We program your brand into their brain.

Our AI-powered messaging doesn’t just “keep you connected.”
It hunts attention, triggers clicks, and closes gaps — all while you're busy doing real work.

Text. Email. Instant. Personalized. Ruthless.

Because staying top-of-mind isn’t a feature...
It’s a takeover.

Futuristic humanoid robot analyzing data on transparent digital screen

Development and Maintenance of Web Presence:

Websites

Your Website Has One Job: Convert or Die.

Pretty? Sure.
User-friendly? Of course.

But if it doesn’t sell, it’s just digital wallpaper.

At Terrible Marketing, we don’t do “nice.”
We do websites that hit like a freight train.

⚙️ Built to move fast.
🎯 Designed to convert.
🧠 Tailored to YOUR business — not some theme park template.

First impressions matter.
Make yours unforgettable — and profitable.

Astronaut holding inflatable yellow duck in modern industrial office with Terrible Marketing slogan on wall

Action figure packaging of The Funnel Whisperer in red blazer holding laptop with marketing skills and slogans on display

Funnels

Your Funnel Doesn’t Need Tweaks. It Needs a Wake-Up Call.
We’re here to build funnels that hunt down wallets and don’t come back empty.

No fluff. No friction.
Just ruthless strategy that pulls your audience step-by-step to one outcome: BUY.

We don’t “guide” customers.
We drag them through your funnel with copy that converts and offers that slap.

If you want polite, call an agency.
If you want profit, get terrible.

DFY Video Course: Limited Onboardings For This Service.

Stop Lecturing. Start Converting.

Nobody cares how “expert” you are —
until your content punches through the noise.

That’s why our Done-For-You video courses aren’t just educational —
they’re attention-hijacking, authority-building conversion machines.

Crafted to teach fast, hit hard, and turn watchers into buyers —
because value means nothing if it doesn’t move the needle.

You want to look smart? Go blog.
You want to own the room? Drop a course that slaps.

We’ll build it. You take the credit.

Man (JD) in brown blazer speaking on stage with microphone in front of black curtain and brick wall

Payment Integration

Clunky checkout = abandoned cart = money lost.

We don’t let that happen.

We wire your funnel with secure, seamless payment systems that make buying so fast, it feels like theft (the legal kind).

One click. Zero friction.
Cash in. Move on.

Because if they hesitate,
you’re not selling — you’re stalling.

Man in colorful shirt celebrating in city street with arms raised as dollar bills fall around him

Video Content Development for Social Media + YT

Your Content’s Not Boring. It’s Just Invisible.

Scroll-stopping video doesn’t happen by accident.
It’s engineered to slap.

At Terrible Marketing, we craft high-voltage, algorithm-approved video content that grabs eyeballs, hijacks attention, and forces engagement.

Instagram? YouTube? TikTok?
We speak fluent scroll-addiction.

You bring the brand.
We bring the heat.
Let’s make content they can’t ignore — or forget.

We’re Not Your Marketing Partner... We’re Your Secret Weapon.

At Terrible Marketing, we don’t offer “suites of services.”
We offer a War Chest — stacked with battle-tested tools and savage strategy.

Pick your poison: funnels, ads, video, automation, conversion-fueled copy —
whatever moves your business forward, we weaponize it.

You’ve got goals.
We’ve got the marketing to make them nervous.

Let’s pave the way? Nah.
Let’s blow the f*cking road wide open.

Welcome to Terrible Marketing

Where Business Training Stops Playing Nice.

You don’t need another course.
You need a tactical upgrade — one that’s loud, fast, and impossible to ignore.

At Terrible Marketing, we don’t “educate.”
We arm.

Funnels, ads, traffic, strategy — everything you actually need to build a business that bites back.

You won’t find boring modules or recycled guru scripts here.
You’ll find conversion-loaded training baked into tools that make your funnel lethal.

This isn’t “value.”
This is your competitive advantage in drag-and-drop form.

You ready? Let’s get terrible.